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FRIENDLY ADVISORS
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“We believe in the power of youth and communities to transform themselves. Our job is
to give them the tools, training and technical assistance they need to succeed."
Wendy Wheeler, President, Innovation Center

Module objectives:

I enjoy my youth responsibly
During this session, focus on the participants9 understanding of being young. The
dimensions of changes during this stage ofyouth are reviewed briefly. The Friendly
Advisors should use this module to introduce the five dimensional changes during
youth, reinforce the importance ofsafe relationships and help them understand their
mood swings.
2.
By the end of ONE-HOUR interaction, youth will:

-

Describe the five dimensional changes that they are undergoing
Participate in sharing how social and emotional changes make them vulnerable to
HIV infection
Participate in experiential learning games, which highlight the importance of
managing the changes they undergo in a healthy manner
> Discuss how just being young makes a person vulnerable to HIV and how
anybody can get HIV infection.

3.
The five dimensions of change in youth
Physical changes: from a baby’s body to a young male or female mostly. This is due to
hormones that are being released.
Emotional changes: from being mostly calm and relaxed young people experience
great mood swings. Either too sad or too happy. Or too emotional, with too strong sexual
attractions.
Intellectual changes: from comprehending and learning, young people begin to think
logically, rationalize and assimilate information now.
Social changes: from being close tn family and pareiUJk young people become closer totheir friends. Also, from being cloice to peopk? of their own sex. they are now mostlv
attracted to people of the opposite sex.

2

Spiritual changes: from accepting any religious doctrine of the elders or parents, young
people question and try to seek for themselves the reality of a power (God) above them.

4.
Tips for keeping relationships safe


Suggest having a wide circle of friends. This will help them to understand
better both the same and opposite sex.



It is important to study the attitudes and thoughts a youth has about males and
females. Does he think of a female as a “chick” or “item” or does she think of
a male as a “hunk” or a “hulk?” Both these attitudes are negative and one may
be treated as a “thing” rather than as a unique, precious person. It is also
possible that boys themselves have wrong opinions that look like “hunk” or
“hulk”. The same with girls also.

5.

What to do when a young person is ‘in love’ with someone?
■ One may not need to do anything about it, because even though it seems real
strong just now, the feelings may change soon.


6.


Being “in love” now does not mean that it will continue. Never to assume that
every relationship will end in marriage. Even when one strongly feels one is
in love, it is wiser to keep within one’s limits and just be friendly. The new
hormones in their body make them feel strongly attracted. By next month
they may be in love with somebody else. They are adolescents, remember?

How can they protect themselves?
Check out if the person he/she “loves” has self-respect and respect for the
other person. If this is lacking, it is better to avoid the relationship.



Is this person saying things like, “Only if you do (kiss me, come to a movie
with me, write records for me, etc.) I know for sure that you love me”? This
may lead to abuse. Nobody needs to do what one does not want to do. If this is
happening with their friends (Raja and Rani), advise to caution them.



Youth should meet in groups rather than meeting alone. To meet in a public
place rather than in a private place because there are limited chances of abuse
when one is in a crowd rather than being alone with the other person.

7.
How to explain emotional changes?

Explain with this example.

^3 SO
- SOCHAJaaS^
Korarncngala
Bangalore Z

3

How many of you have cooked a meal? When you first began cooking, did you
put exactly the right amount of salt every time? Didn't you sometimes put
too much or too little? Slowly you learnt to add the correct amount of salt,
right? Well, our bodies also produce chemicals (hormones) to transform us
from children to adults. Our bodies also do not yet know how much chemicals
(hormones) to produce to make us into that exact adult. So sometimes they
produce less chemicals than the body requires. That's when we feel
low/depressed/sad/hurt. Sometimes the body produces more chemicals than
required and that is when we feel hyper/happy/high. That is when we also
feel strong sexual urges, feel attracted towards the opposite sex and fall in
love too. So our emotional state and feelings also depend on the hormones
produced by the body. If we understand this, we will be able to manage our
feelings safely for life. Only around 21 years of age the body learns to
produce the exact amounts of hormones to stabilize our emotions.
All of us need to recognize that when we do not understand our feelings, we will be
impulsive or act on them without thinking.

8.
Stigma — what is it?
Stigma is something that detracts from the character or reputation of a person, group, etc.,
a mark of disgrace or reproach. People living with HIV infection face stigma. Stigma has
often been associated with disfiguring or incurable diseases, in particular diseases that
society perceives to be caused by the violation of social norms, including those that
sanction sexual behavior. Parker (et. al., 2002) describes stigma as a tool of social
control that is used to identify and use “differences” between groups of people to create
and legitimize social hierarchies and inequalities. Stigma ‘significantly discredits’ an
individual in the eyes of others and also has important consequences for the way in which
individuals come to see themselves.
9.
Why is there stigma about HIV and AIDS?

Young people are the ones who are most vulnerable to HIV infection because they are the
sexually active group. There are some factors which contribute to HIV and AIDS-related
stigma:
• People living with HIV and AIDS are often thought of as being responsible for
becoming infected.
• Religious or moral beliefs lead some people to believe that having HIV and AIDS is
the result of moral fault (such as promiscuity or ’deviant sex’V that deserves to be
punished.

10..

Key messages
I. Being young is a cr«ical time.

>*8

2. It is normal to feel moody, feel attractions, and feel closer to friends.
3. Youth can manage their changes, emotions and relationships safely.
4. All young people are at risk for HIV. Anybody can get HIV infection. Hence
there is no need or justification to stigmatise people living with HIV and AIDS.

11.

Action plan
Encourage use of the stigma assessment form to find out how their friends view
people living with HIV infection
> Prepare some skits or drama on the five changes that every young person
experiences, how to keep relationships safe and how to understand emotions
when young.
> Encourage each youth in your group to mentor at least 25 to 30 of their
classmates, youth club members and friends on stigma and how to remain
healthy. Make each young person sign the commitment: I enjoy my youth
responsibly.
>

12.

If you want to learn more, write to us and find out.
INSA-India
5/1 Benson Cross Road
Benson Town
Bangalore 560 046
Email: insastand@gmail.com or insastigmastand@gmail.com
1

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1.

"Young people should be at the forefront of global change and innovation.
Empowered, they can be key agents for development and peace. If however, they are
left on society rs margins, all of us will be impoverished. Let us ensure that all young
people have every opportunity to participate fully in the lives oftheir societies."
Kofi Annan

I Prevent STIs, HIV and AIDS
Module Objectives:

During this session, focus on the participants9 understanding of the basics of HIV and
AIDS. The dynamics of prevention by youth are addressed briefly. The Friendly
Advisors should use this module to introduce the basic facts about STIs, HIV and
AIDS during youth, reinforce the importance of stigma and discrimination attached to
them on account of misconceptions.
<?
2.
By the end of the ONE-HOUR interaction, youth will:
Describe the difference among STIs, HIV and AIDS.
Describe the difference between HIV infection and AIDS.
Discuss ways by which HIV is spread and not spread.
Define Window Period
Discuss prevention using the acronym SAVED.
Discuss stigma and discrimination on account of HIV related myths and
misconceptions.
> Discuss the impact of HIV and AIDS and the role of youth in prevention.

>
>
>
>
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3.
Key notes
- Sexually transmitted infections / diseases are commonly referred to as STIs or
STDs.
Majority of the STls/STD can be treated and cured completely.
- AIDS caused by HIV i? also a STI but without cure. So prevention is better than
cure.
- HIV the virus that causes AIDS is basically transmitted through four ways.
Each one of us is at risk.
It is very important to tackle the myths and misconception? because it is not HIV
that kills but the stigma and discrimination attached to h which prevent;
disclosure and denial of treatment. This in turn can be a Cause for increased
prevalence.
- Youth is the best force to launch prevention campaigns.

I

*

People Living with HIV {PLHIV} can live for many years since HIV infection is
a chronic infection like diabetes, which also can be controlled but not cured.

Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something.
Author Unknown

4.
Tips for prevention of HIV and AIDS
> Tips for detecting STI/STD: sore/swelling, tenderness with itching/irritation
and/or discharge in the private parts. Medical intervention is very important.
> Difference between HIV infection and AIDS

AIDS_________________________
>
HIV infection___________ >
A person looks normal and feels Looks ill.
Experiences different infections such as
healthy.
TB, pneumonia, fungal infections,
Can work and earn.
continuous fever, diarrhea, etc.
Can look after family.
Leads to AIDS.
This phase can last 6-20 years.
5.

it
> How HIV is spread and not spread
>
HIV is not spread________
Coughing & sneezing
Hugging
Insect bites
Sharing utensils
Swimming in the same pool
Shaking hands
Sharing the same room and clothes
Using the same toilet.

>
HIV is spread
A
Transfusion of HIV infected blood and
blood products
Unsterilised infected needles
Unprotected sex (anal, vaginal or oral)with |
opposite or same sex partners who are
infected with HIV
An infected mother to her unborn or!
newborn child.
1

6.
Window period

The only way to know that someone has HIV infection is through a blood test. This blood test
will search for HIV antibodies in the bh>od. Any adult who has these antibodies is considered
HIV positive. But it takes around 9-12 weeks after the person is iniected with the HIV virus
before the antibodies can be detected in thfc blood. This is called the window period. Therefore,
in case of suspected exposure, one should repeat the blood test (if it comes negative die first lime)
after three month? to be doubly sure that there is no HIV.

7.

^Ifs really important for people who are HIV positive to reach out to let other people
know that they can be tested, they can find out that they can still live a life — a positive
life, a happy life.rt
Laura Bush

How to prevent HIV?
When you know how HI V is transmitted then it is a lot easier to know how to prevent it.
Remember birth control pills can prevent conception but not HIV. Follow these steps to
be “SAVED”.
8.
S -Safer practices
- Choose abstinence - the safe way to prevent sexual transmission of HIV.
- Choose to nurture a mutually faithful sexual relationship - be faithful.
- If you are already sexually active, use condoms correctly and consistently.
- Use disposable or sterilized needles and syringes for injections and tattooing.
- Insist on receiving HIV negative blood for any blood transfusion.
- Say ‘No’ to intravenous drug abuse.
- Practice universal medical precautions for health care.
we-

. Tf -

Pregnant HIV positive women can protect their babies from infection by accessing
special medical care at the PPTCT ( Prevention of Parent to child Transmission
Centre).
Health care providers can access post exposure prophylaxis if they have been exposed
to HIV infection.
9..
A - Anti Retroviral Treatment (ART)
Adhering to prescribed ART for those who are HIV positive helps prolong the HIV
infection stage and prevents early onset of AIDS.

V - Voluntary testing and counselling
Barely 1% of the 2.5 million estimated people with HIV infection know that they are
infected because the others have not yet been tested. Encourage everybody to go for
testing. If one is negative, celebrate life by staying negative and avoiding risky
behaviours.
E - Empowerment
Those who art* positive, can get medical care and should be responsible for not getting
reinfected or pass on the infection to others.
D-Drugs
There are drugs for infections associated with HIV and AIDS and for basic health care.

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10.
What are opportunistic infections?
When the body’s resistance is lowered some harmful germs take the opportunity to cause
infections. These are called ‘Opportunistic Infections’. Preventing opportunistic
infections is one of the important ways to ensure that a person with HIV infection does
not progress too fast into the stage of AIDS.

Why there are myths and misconceptions?
The common myths and misconceptions about how HIV spreads is related to the fear
surrounding HIV because there is no cure for it yet. It is because of this that stigma and
discrimination exist. Awareness through education is the way to address it.
IL
Ifs easy to make a buck. Ifs a lot tougher to make a difference,
Tom Brokaw

Impact of HIV and AIDS and the role of youth in prevention
HIV and AIDS have a tremendous impact on the social, cultural, economic and
community developments of individuals, families, community and country Acting to
prevent the after effects is the immediate need of the hour. Youth have a very important
role to play as instruments for change. It is only when they are armed with the right
information and the will to make a difference, change can be initiated.

12.
Stigma and discrimination - what are they?
Stigma is a negative reputation often attached unfairly to individuals or groups that may
influence the way they are perceived or how they perceive themselves. Discrimination
refers to the action taken as a result of the prevailing stigma, which often ends up in
unfair treatment, subjecting the affected individuals to feelings of guilt, shame and
isolation. Persons living with HIV infection may not seek treatment or delay going to the
doctor due to the fear of real or perceived discrimination against them. This itself can be
another cause of higher prevalence of HIV because meanwhile he keeps spreading the
infection. Ignorance and fear about HIV is the main contributor to stigma and
discrimination. So break the silence and spread awareness about HIV and AIDS.

13.
Key messages
- Anyone can get HIV infection through unsafe sex or blood
- Say NO to HIV; not the people living vii»h HIV
- Most STIs arc? curable
• People Living with HIV {PLHIV} can live for many years since HIV infection is a
chronic infection like diabetes, which can be controlled and not cured.
14.

4

Action plan
> Find out how much their friends know about HIV and tell them how HIV spreads
and does NOT spread.
> Screen the film ‘AMMA”, get response and enable them to reflect as an
individual how each one of us can make a difference
> Encourage your youth group to mentor at least 25 to 30 of their classmates, youth
club members and friends on HIV and AIDS prevention. Make each one sign the
commitment: I prevent STIs, HIV and AIDS.
> Any other question?
Write to us with your actions and plans at
INSA-India
5/1 Benson Cross Road
Benson Town, Bangalore 560 046.
Email insastandffigmail.com or insastigmastand@gmail.com
I

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something.
And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.
.
Edward
Everett Hale

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1.

India is eternal. Though the beginnings of her numerous civilizations go so far back in
time that they are lost in the twilight of history, she has the gift of perpetual youth. Her
culture is ageless.
Nani Ardeshir Palkhiwala
Indian lawyer & philanthropist

I deal with socio-cultural influences healthily

1

Module Objectives
During this session, focus on cultural and social aspects and its impact on gender
and gender based norms. The modulefocuses on how to deal with it healthily. The
Friendly Advisors should use this module to strengthen the understanding ofsex,
gender and the difference between the two for youth. This will enable them to
understand the special and unique time of youth and particularly to help women
with protecting themselves better from ST/s, HIV and A IDS.

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2.
By the end of the ONE-HOUR interaction, youth will:
> Describe the influence of culture, media and gender on their vulnerability to HIV
and AIDS
> Be able to differentiate between sex and gender.
> Describe ways to deal with media and gender based socio cultural influences.

3.
Key notes
What is culture? A culture is the way of life of a group of people. Generally, their
behaviours, beliefs, values and symbols are passed on from one generation to the next by
sheer force of habit without questioning their relevance or validity. The ‘ideal’ male and
‘female’ also spring from this cultural legacy of stereotyped thinking and suppression
of women. Beliefs such as men are strong, dominating, deserve better attention as bread
earners, as head of the family, have been handed down for centuries. This attitude may
make a man to indulge in risky behaviour which makes him vulnerable to III V infection.
4.

Ifyou don't like ^omeihing^ change it; ifyou can't change ih change the way you think
about it.

1

Mary Engdbreit
You can help youth to protect themselves
However valuable, our culture and media can increase our vulnerability to HIV. The
youth, who are just entering adulthood can succumb to peer pressure, identity crisis and
influence of the media for all wrong reasons and fall victim to their own fantasies.
They, however can not only avoid the negative impact of developments on society by
not promoting them but also by being instrumental in preventing HIV infection through
awareness messages and clearing all myths and misconceptions. The value of abstinence,
staying faithful, building strong relationships, leading a healthy life, all is a part of our
culture which can be used for ones betterment. The saying ‘sound mind in a sound bodyr
belongs to the ancient Indian way of life.

5.

Perhaps in returnfor conquest, arrogance and spoliation, India will teach us (he
tolerance and gentleness ofthe mature mind, the quiet content ofthe unacquisitive
soul,the calm ofthe understanding spirit, and a unifying, a pacifying lovefor all living
things.
WillDunnt
American historian

i.

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Tips for dealing with socio cultural influences healthily
■ It is important to know the difference between SEX and GENDER.



K -

Gender based norms often encourage young men to prove their manhood or
virility by having multiple partners.
Young men and women find it difficult to assert their right to abstain, remain
faithful and use condoms as they find it embarrassing to discuss these aspects
of their relationship and use/purchase contraceptives.

6.
More tips

Young women deprived of education are not well placed, are economically
weak and with poor negotiation skills. This can trigger trading of sex for cash
or goods leading to risky behaviours.


Young women’s ability to inliuence sexual decision making is restricted on
two accounts * gtnder based norms and early marriage.



Young women may have older xual partners with longer sexual history with
chances of already having acquired STI and HIV infections. These men may
pass on the infection through unprotected sex.

7.

2

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More tips


Stigma and discrimination attached to homosexuality makes it difficult for
young homosexual men and lesbian women to express their sexual orientation
openly. This in turn makes it difficult for them to obtain much needed sexual
and reproductive health information and take action to reduce their health
risks.



Value our culture for building strong relationships but respect choices,
diversity and build tolerance.



Drug abuse and alcohol increase vulnerability to HIV infection in two ways —
increased feelings of “being in control*’ when they really are not, and
willingness to take risks such as unsafe sex, sharing of unsterilized injecting
equipment which can lead to direct transmission of the virus.



Cultural identity - specifically, positive cultural identity formation - could
thus be a potent force in prevention efforts.

8.

Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom.
Merry Browne
Sex — what is it?
Sex refers to the physiological attributes that identify a person as male or female.
• Type of genital organs (penis, testicles, vagina, womb, breasts)
• Type of predominant hormones (estrogen, testosterone)
• Ability to produce sperm/ova
• Ability to give birth and breast feed children.
9.
Gender -what is it?
Gender is the social differences of being male or female.



It refers to widely shared ideas and expectations concerning men and women. •

These include typically feminine or female and masculine or male characterstics.


It includes shared expectations about how men and women should behave in
different situations. These ideas and expectations are learnt from tradition,
family, school, workplace, media, friends, religious leaders and religious/
cultural institutions. They reflect and influence the different roles, social status
and economic and political power Of men and women in society.

10.

Key messages
* Culture affects the way we think about ourselves.
* Gendep is the sociological difference between being male and female while sex
is the physical difference of being male and female.
3

- Gender affects our vulnerability to HIV infection and STIs.
"It's the action, not the fruit ofthe action, that's important. You have io do the right thing.
It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there'll be anyfruit. But that
doesn't mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know what results come from
your action. But ifyou do nothing, there will be no result."
— Mahatma Gandhi
11.

Action plans

> Use the Ideal male and Ideal female concept to break stereotypes in thinking.
> Prepare some skits or drama to bring about the effect of gender on young men
and women and HIV infection.
> Encourage each in the group to mentor at least 25 to 30 of his/her classmates,
youth club members, friends and family members on gender, sex and sexuality,
its impact and how to remain healthy. Make each one sign the commitment: I deal
with socio-cultural influences healthily.
> Any other questions? write to us with your actions and plans at
INSA-India, 5/1 Benson Cross Road, Benson Town, Bangalore 560 046
Email: insastand@gnuttcom or insastigmastand@gmail.com
^'.iS •

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"Don'tfollow hi anyfootprints, make your own prints. Because, you are the future
oftomorrow. n
y-i A-

Jackie Joyner-Kersee

4

1.
It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their
feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward
themselves, and ifyou're not comfortable within yourself you can't be comfortable
with others."

Sidney J Harris

I value myself
Module Objectives

During this session, focus on the participants' understanding ofselfbeing unique,
precious and also on the importance ofself esteem. Selfesteem plays a major role in
decision making and protects selffrom HIV. The Friendly Advisors should use-this
module to introduce Me, My Body, to reinforce that each one is beautiful and stress
on the hidden inner strength within each individual by appreciating self.
2.
By the end of the ONE-HOUR interaction, youth will:
> Describe the uniqueness of self.
> Understand that valuing themselves will empower them to protect themselves
from STIs, HIV and AIDS.
> Participate in experiential learning games which highlight the importance of I,
Me, My Body.
> Learn to appreciate and safeguard their own selves.
3.

Key notes

-By appreciating oneself and one’s own values, a person is confirming being special,
unique and precious.
-There is never another one like any of us in this world.

T

- When a person gives the best of what he has to himself, he can protect his body from
being vulnerable to HIV.

- True beauty is inside, the real PERSON.
- Every person is as unique as his fingerprint.

4.
There may have been reasons in the past to distance ONESELF from one’s INNER
SELF in the process of growing up, but as one grows older and understands oneself better
this distance can be narrowed down. Let us not underestimate the hidden capacities and
appreciate their value. In doing so one will not only protect oneself from preventable
diseases including HIV infection but also gain positive self esteem.
5.

Vve gone through life believing in the strength and competence ofothers; never in my
own. Now, dazzled, I discover that my capacities are real Jfs likefinding a fortune in
the lining ofan old coat.
Joan Mills

’-si

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Tips for valuing oneself



When we value ourselves we become precious.



When we appreciate ourselves, we tend to take care of ourselves and our self
esteem is good.
Having good self esteem is important for positive thoughts. Build self-esteem
in youth as people with low self-esteem engage in destructive behavior.
Appreciate others - give sincere compliments often.
Show youth to accept all experiences and give them time to wipe out some of
the unhealthy experiences of the past.






6.
Self esteem —what is it?
Self-esteem refers to our positive and negative evaluations of the self. Feelings we
have about ourselves and the way we would like to be valued are basic ideas about
what is right and wrong. Values generally influence our attitudes and behavior.
Discovering our values is very important because values lead to actions to make us a
happy individual. Knowing ourselves is a prerequisite to good self-esteem
When we know and value yourself, we can help others to do the same.

2

a

7.
Key messages
1. Every person is unique, special and precious.
2. Treat oneself as that special unique person.
3. Valuing oneself empowers one to protect oneself and truly celebrate life.

8.
Action plans
> Use the uniqueness of your own self to understand yours and other people’s
capacities.
> Prepare some skits depicting each individual as unique irrespective of caste, creed
and race. How important it is to look inside oneself and find the inner strength,
and say, "Pm proud of what I am and who I am, and Pm just going to be myself to
keep relationships safe.’
> Help each participant in your group to mentor at least 25 to 30 of his or her
classmates, youth club members and friends on how each one is unique and how
we tend to underestimate our capacities. Make each one sign the commitment: I
value myself.

-:r
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Any other questions? Write to us with your actions and plans at

:r

INSA-India, 5/1 Benson Cross Road. Benson Town, Bangalore 560 046.
Email: insastand@gniail.com or insastigmastand@gmail.com

Having a low opinion ofyourself is not "modesty". It's self-destruction. Holding your
uniqueness in high regard is not "egotism". It's a necessary precondition to happiness
and success.
Bobbe Sommer

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1.

The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care ofourselves. We need
to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to
us. A first step is starting to know that we have a right to protect and defend
ourselves. That we have not only the right, but the duty to take responsibility for how
we allow others to treat us.
Robert Burney
l

'



I set my boundaries
Module Objectives

During this session, focus on the participants9 understanding of boundaries and how to
set it Setting healthy boundaries shows that they carefor themselves, value and
treasure themselves. If they do not set their own boundaries, others will set them for
them. The Friendly Advisors should use this module to emphasize that each one not
only has the right to set boundaries, but also the right to protect and defend oneself
from HIV infection.

2.
By the end of the ONE-HOUR interaction, youth wilt:
> Describe what boundaries mean.
> Choose boundaries for themselves.

> Learn ways to maintain it.
3.
Key notes

We need to set boundaries for ourselves based on our culture, beliefs. Customs and.
traditions. This largely depends on the choices we make. Choice defines what it means to
be human. Our choices make us happy or sad. Challenges are unavoidable but each
individual makes the choice of how to deal with them.
Sexual abstinence is a sign of real emotional maturity and integrity. It requires courage,
maturity and honesty to resist the pressure df somebody we love and make a decision
consistent with the boundaries we have set for ourselves. Your boundary is as far an your

1

nose permits you and not beyond. Setting healthy boundaries means sometimes saying,
"No.”

4.

“Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment.”
Maxwell Maltz
Tips for maintaining boundaries






Show youth how to respect other’s boundaries as they respect their own.
If uncomfortable with a unwanted touch, they can voice it out and move
away.
They can protect themselves from negative peer pressure by joining a group or
club which thinks like them.
Start debate on issues related to HIV and AIDS and the perceived risk of
infection.
One needs to understand a person before revealing secrets.


5.
More tips
■ It is not necessary to accept gifts.
'
■ One can balance yes and no appropriately by saying no to the things that are T
not good for oneself, and yes to the things that are good. Let the head rule the
heart while making decisions in emotional situations as the feeling may be
temporary and pass off.
■ When one respects one’s own “NO!” then others will, too.
■ Be clear about what “No” means. Say no to things one doesn’t want, to leave
room for things one does want.
■ Sometimes, “No” has to be so strong that there need to be many fences
around it to make sure it stays “No.”
6,

Boundaries -what is it?
A boundary is a limit one draws up for oneself which helps one to value one’s self, one’s
freedom and one’s choices. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone
who has no boundaries, with someone who cannot communicate directly and honestly.
Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves.
It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves - to protect ourselves when it is necessary.

7.
Key messages

1. We choose our boundaries to acknowledge our preciousness.

2

2.

Boundaries help us to make healthy choices.

3.

We choose to maintain those boundaries for HIV prevention.

8.
Action plan

> Show youth how to use the choice of saying “NO” very assertively.
> Write situations on cards that every young person experiences and discuss the
importance of setting boundaries.
> Help each participant to mentor at least 25 to 30 of his or her classmates, youth
club members and friends on setting healthy boundaries and how to maintain it.
Make each one sign the commitment: 1 set my boundaries.

Any other question? Write to us with your actions and plans at:
INSA-India, 5/1 Benson Cross Road, Benson Town, Bangalore 560 046.
Email: i nsastand@gmai I .com or insastigmastand@gmail.com
..

Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and
unconsciously. Ifyou can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all
aspects ofyou life. You can find thefreedom that comesfrom being in charge of
yourself.
Robert F. Bennett.



>



1.
“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are
wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics
are right. To map out a course of action andfollow it to an end requires courage.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I face challenges with courage
Module Objectives

During this session, focus on the participants9 perception oftheir vulnerability to HIV
infection and develop assertive skills as part oftheir response. The Friendly Advisors
should use this module to encourage youth to face life with courage.
2.
By the end of the ONE-HOUR interaction, youth will:

> Work out their vulnerability to HIV infection
> Practice ways to say ‘No’ assertively.
3.

Key notes
Challenges or difficulties are an essential part of our life. Ignoring or avoiding them is
not a solution. The situation is aggravated by ignoring it and in the bargain makes us
vulnerable. Many a time we are afraid to discuss or talk about unpleasant situations
because we do not know how to handle it. The fear present within prevents us from
voicing opinions. This gives scope for others to take advantage of us.
A good attitude is, “I am precious, I value myself and set my boundaries healthily, but I
also have to accept that there are a hundred situations surrounding me making me
vulnerable therefore I need to protect myself from them by facing them with courage”.
4.

Whether you be a man or woman you will never do anything in this world without
courage. It is the greatest quality ofthe mind next to honor
James Allen

Tips for facing challenges with courage

pis-380
,,

‘ OJOiPfrupg'

e! r? 6 u i? t u p.«o »

11 r, (

WOS - 3HdJ
---_____


It needs confidence to be assertive in voicing the timely “NO” whenever a
situation demands.
Managing feelings is difficult but not impossible. By assertively saying “NO’
one is clearly expressing one’s rights without embarrassing or hurting one’s or
other’s precious self.
It is normal to feel sexual urges and attractions but to protect and value
oneself one has to make choices with courage.
Being powerless and worthless is forgetting one’s own values and boundaries
and surrendering to vulnerable and risky behavior.





5.
More tips

Being mod does not mean having casual sex. Youth can be courageous and

say “NO” to casual sex as otherwise it increases their vulnerability to HIV.
Youth must be assertive and take courage to seek medical help for any

sore in their private parts as it could be a sign of a sexually transmitted

1

infection, most of which are curable. If left unattended the risk for HIV
7

Wk

infection entering the body through the sore is greatly increased.


■3>



Youth need to be assertive to say “NO” to their doctor if he reuses a syringe.
In doing so one is safeguarding oneself from the risk of HIV infection.
During anal sex with an infected partner the chances of rupture of blood
vessels in the anus is great and leads to entry of HIV. There is no way of
making out who has HIV infection based on how they look. Be assertive
instead of giving into situations that makes one vulnerable.

6.
More tips







When it is not possible to say “NO” and one wishes to keep a boundary then
avoid the situation.
If one knows that certain situations or people could pressurize one into doing
things one does not wish to do, one can just stay away.
Youth can always be in groups as there is strength in numbers. They can keep
company with people who support their decisions of not to use drugs, alcohol,
etc.
Everyone has a choice about their behaviours and can decrease their risk of
HIV infection by making safest choices and not engaging in risky behaviours
such as casual sex or sex without condoms. To summon the courage to say

2

“NO” without feeling shy or bad because they have the right to and they are
unique and precious.

7.
Assertiveness -what is it?

Sometimes we find it difficult to ask for what we want or to say “NO” to close friends
and relatives and feel guilty and embarrassed. This choice has the disadvantage of
being misused or taken for granted and leads to vulnerable situations.
Being assertive means respecting not only oneself but others as well, seeing people as
equal to one, not better than one or less important than one. Being assertive does not r
mean that one gets what one wants. It is expressing one’s opinions, needs, and feelings,
without ignoring or hurting the opinions, needs, and feelings of others. It is achieved
through open, direct and honest communication, valuing self, valuing others, listening,
respecting, problem solving and negotiating with other people with the satisfaction of
knowing that one handled the situation well.
8.
Key messages

1. lam unique, precious and so I say “NO”.
2. We are all vulnerable to HIV infection.
3. I can say and show “No” assertively.

''U

To go against the dominant thinking ofyourfriends, ofmost ofthe people you see
every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.

Theodore H White
9.
Act Bon plans

> Use the game HUMAN KNOT to know the assertive skills of youth’s friends.
> Prepare sample situation cards. Check out the response by their friends.
> Help them mentor at least 25 to 30 of his or her classmates, youth club members,
friends on assertively saying “NO”. Make each one sign the commitment: I face
challenges with courage.

Any other questions? Write to us with your actions and plans at
INSA-India, 5/1 Benson Cross Road, Benson Town, Bangalore 560 046
Email: ipsastand@gmail.com or insastigmastand@gmail.com

3

"The practice ofassertiveness: being authentic in our dealings with others; treating

our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the

reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness

to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts".
Nathaniel Branden

{

I

4

L
“God left the world unfinished for man to work his skill upon. He left the electricity
still in the cloud, the oil still in the earth. How often we took upon God as our last and
feeblest resource! We go to Him because we have nowhere else to go. And then we
learn that the storms of life have driven us, not upon the rocks, but into the desired
haven.99
George MacDonald

I develop life skills to prevent HIV infection
Module Objectives:
During this session, focus on the participants9 understanding of life skills and it’s
importance in prevention of HIV infection. The Friendly Advisors should use this
module to introduce World Health Organization fs concept of the ten Life Skills which
every human being needs to develop for living healthily.
2.
By the end of the ONE-HOUR interaction, youth will:
> Discuss the ten WHO Life Skills.
> Practise ways to use life skills for HIV

3.
Key notes
We face stress, conflict and peer pressure in daily life. The World Health Organization
lists ten core Life Skills to withstand them. A little thought into it helps us not only to
gain health but also celebrate life. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp,
some are pretty, some are dull, while others are bright and some have weird names, but
they all have learned to live together in the same box.”
It can be easily remembered by the acronym EPIC3 MADE.

4.
EPIC3 MADE
Empathy
Problem solving
Interpersonal relationships
Cortimunication, Creative thinking, Critical thinking
Management of stress
Awareness of self
Decision making and
Emotion management.

I

5.
Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Tips for developing Life Skills
• Be aware of Their own self, appreciate and value self
• Set their boundaries and assertively say ‘‘NO*’
• Communicate their opinions clearly and at the appropriate time
• Critically think if the situation will cause any harm to them
• Weigh the pros and cons before taking decisions
• Face problems with courage
• Do not let emotions take over while making decisions
• Communication builds good interpersonal relationship and also helps in the
management of stress
• Think creatively to avoid unpleasant situations.

6.

How does a PLHIV feel?

■t

3Er.

•■^7

-

A person living with HIV infection may feel depressed or low in morale. Empathetically
we can draw them out from their negativity and show them the positive aspects by
encouraging them to manage their stress and emotions. Teach them that words have
power. To become aware of their rights and responsibilities. By communicating
effectively and affectionately to make them come out of the stigma and discrimination.
This will enable them to think critically and take decisions. When they become aware of
themselves and accept facts, they become empowered. Once that is done solutions start
coming automatically to them.

7.
Ninety percent of the world's woe comes from people not knowing themselves, their
abilities, their frailties, and even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way
through life as complete strangers to ourselves.
Sydney J. Harris
WHO Life Skills -what are they?
1. Empathy: Understanding people from their perspective. Empathy is an emotion
that brings out humaneness in people. It should be considered a sacred one for
that. Empathy connects people in mysterious and special ways.
2. Problem Solving: Not all problems can be solved. Looking at problems as
opportunities and challenges helps i.i dealing with them.

2

8.
WHO Life Skills
3. Inter-personal relationships: Keeping friends and at the same time valuing
relationships is the key to interpersonal relationships. Remember the safe
relationships covered in Module 1. Let’s recall. When you like someone, is it safe
to be in a group or alone? (Listen to the answers and say ) Be in a group.
4. Communication: Effective communication, which is essential for living, is the
ability to express ourselves clearly verbally and non-verbally in ways appropriate
to both existing culture and situations. It means not only being able to express
one’s opinions and desires, but also one’s needs and fears. It involves the skill to
ask for advice and help in times of need and to avoid unpleasant situations. Refer
earlier commitments of communicating effectively on boundaries and how to say
“NO” assertively.
9.
WHO Life Skills
5. Creative thinking: Creativity is a complex mixture of traits, skills and capacities
that include the ability to work out new ways of doing things. Creative thinking is
stronger when there is curiosity, unconventional thinking and openness to new
experiences. Often difficult situations are very challenging and responded to by,
“Can I look at this differently?” Youth are in the most creative period of their
lives. Help them exercise this ability to the best of their advantage.

6. Critical Thinking: Critical thinking is an amazing skill, which involves
detaching self from the situation. It is neither criticising nor being judgmental.
View the alternative solutions to the problem in a detached way to be able to think
of its pros and cons and get further clarity to the problem.
10.
WHO Life Skills
7. Management of stress: Stress management is an individual’s ability to handle
pressures of life. We face a lot of stresses due to the changed roles in family and
society or various expectations to be fulfilled. Thinking positively about any
situation helps to reduce and manage stress to some extent.

8. Awareness of self: Awareness of self is knowing and acknowledging oneself as a
human being in body, mind and spirit. It is being aware of one’s thoughts,
emotions and feelings as they arise. It is also the immediate and long term needs,
wants, desires and wishes of a person. It is just to remind how precious every
person is. Each one is unique and precious, be aware of it.
11.
WHO Life Skills
9. Decision Making: Decisiorvmaking is about deciding and acting to keep health.,
social life and values in bafance.

*

10. Emotion management: Emotion management means sensibly handling one’s
feelings in socially acceptable ways. It not only gives inner peace but also helps
in maintaining relationships. Emotions like anger, fear, happiness, sadness,
tension and sometimes desire, shame and guilt have the ability to make us feel
powerless. How we manage these emotions effectively makes a difference to
move ahead in life. If these emotions are not productive, protective and useful
but do more harm than good, then manage them.

These ten Life Skills look simple and can easily be remembered by the acronym
EPIC3 MADE.
12.
Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself-your strengths and your
limitations - in contrast to depending on confirmationfrom others.
Judith M Bardwick
Here is a story to illustrate the 10 Life Skills

Reema, a girl in the second year ofcollege came home very agitated. She walked into the

kitchen to see her mother baking a cake. She immediately began telling her mother.
^Ma, IJust cannot manage. Today all myfriends ignored me and the lecturer scolded me
4 ;/

and..,, you are spending more time with Kiran than with me. It's just too much
Her mother continued to make the cake and Reema said, "Are you making a chocolate
i



> '

cake now?**. Her mother replied, “Yes. Would you like to taste some of this majda?”

Shocked, Reema answered. “Even you are stressing me out! Maida! " In a calm voice her
mother asked;, “Would you like some of this raw egg?n “Mom" said Reema, “What's

wrong with you? " “Sugar alone? "Mom continued without any reaction. Reema got off

the kitchen chair and began walking towards the door in a huff “Wait" said her mother,
and continued, “By itself, the maida, the egg or sugar does not taste good. But when it is
blended and baked for a particular period, don't you love it?" “Yes“ said Reema.

“Well", Said the mother, “In the same way, these problems you face, is the special way

you are getting baked to become that ideal young woman you will be. Think about that,

okay? "

Reema had a pondering look on herface when she left the kitchen.
13

Key messages
1. Awareness of self
2. Empathize but make decisions critically and creatively.
3. Learn and practise life skills till you master it.

4

14.
Action plans
> Use the robot game to identify the Ten Life Skills and their influence on
achievements.
> Use wooden blocks to build a tower with one of them blindfolded and discuss
how the Life Skills play a major role in building the tower blindfolded.
> Help each youth to mentor at least 25 to 30 of his or her classmates, youth club
members, friends on Life Skills to develop their capacities. Make each one sign
the commitment: I develop life skills to prevent HIV infection.

Any other questions? Write to us with your actions and plans at:
INSA-India, 5/1 Benson Cross Road, Benson Town, Bangalore 560 046.
E-mail: insastand@gmail.com or insastigmasund@gniail.com

Guard welt your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their
value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a
useful life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

i’-

5

I.
“Too often we luideres^mate the power of a touch, a smite, a kind word, a listening
ear, an honest tv/nplinient, or th e smallest act of caring, all of which have ike potential
to turn a life uround.
Leo F Ruscaglia

I Care about Everyone
Module Objectives
During this session, focus on stigma, discrimination related to HIV and AIDS and
faced by people living with it. The Friendly Advisors should use this module to address
it, including the terminologies usedfor discussing HIV infection and AIDS and
explain the concept ofRed Ribbon.

2.
By the end of the ONE-HOUR interaction, youth will:
> Discuss stigma related to HIV infection.

> Practice ways to use stigma free language related to sexuality, HIV and AIDS.
> Participate in positive attitude building activities.

1
Key oies
There is a difference between HIV infection and AIDS. For many years, most people
referred to HIV and AIDS together. We know that people with HIV infection have the
opportunity to live a long productive life whereas a person with AIDS is seriously ill. The
language we use adds the stigma to HIV infection. If our language is negative the stigma
is greater.
4.
Types of stigma

a.
b.
c.

External stigma
Pre-existing stigma
Enacted stigma: •Identification •Rejection* Distancing -Avoidance.

5.
What about perceived stigma?
HIV-related stigma
• Distancing/avoidance
• Isolation
• Physically not being present for them
• Emotionally not being present for them
• Deliberately not doing things for them.
f9A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle.,r
Anonymous

I

6.
Internal stigma: <felt or itnagined by the HIV positive person )
Tht£ shapie associated with HIV and AIDS and fear of being discriminated against.
Forfrts of stigma
Name calling, scapegvuitiag. linger pointing, teasing, ridiculing, labeling, blaming,
shaming, rumour, gostiipihg, suspecting, neglecting, not sharing utensils, hiding, staying
at a distance, physical violence, self-stigrha, blaming and isolating oneself. Stigma by
I association — whole family or friends also affected by sti jma. Stigrita by
I looks/appearance, etc.
Effects or consequences
Shame, denial, loneliness, neglect, hopelessness, depression, self«rejection, self-pity, self­
hatred, anger, violence, withdrawal from public activities, forced to leave community,
family disruption, divorce or separation, fired from work, loss of promotion, scholarship
opportunities, rented accommodation.
Decline in school performance or drop out of a school. AIDS orphans and street kids.
Abuse or bad treatment by relatives. Deprived of medical care - health staff argue that
this is a waste of resources. Sent back to village and property grabbing. Stopping making
use of clinics, VTC programes. Spread of infection. Etc.

7.
Causes
Morality - view that people living with HIV and AIDS are sinners, promiscuous,
unfaithful, “sleeping around”. People’s beliefs about pollution, contagion, impurity. Fear
of infection, of the unknown, of death. Ignorance — lack of knowledge and
mi sconceptiorw make people fear physical ccvitact with people living with HIV and
AIDS. Misconceptions. Inferiority and superiority complex. Gender and poverty —
women and poor people more stigmatised than men/rfch people. Prejudice. Tendency to
judge oihers.
r.

8.
Tips for caring about everyone




Caring is a reflex of putting your arm or extending a hand when someone slips to
bring a smile.
Caring costs nothing

9.
Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.
Plato
Red Ribbon - what is it?
it is the symbol of solidarity with people living with HIV and AIDS and to
demonstrate compassion for people living with AIDS and theip-caregivers
fhe color red was chosen for its, ^connection to bkMxi and the idea of passion - not only
anger, but love, like a Valentine? First worn pub idy by Jeremy irons at the 1991 Tony
Awards, the ribbon soon became renowned as an international symbol of AIDS
awareness. It stands for: Care and Concern, Hope and Suppo t.

2

't-

to.
Red Ribbon stands for :
Care and Concern -U is being wont by more and more people around the world u» show
their concern about HIV and AIDS - tor those who are living with HIV, for those v\ho
are ill, for thpse who have died, and for those who care foe and support those directly .



affected.

T

•:
*
Hope -The Red Slibb«i is a symbol df hope that the search for a vaccine and cure to halt
the suffering is successful and that quality of life impo'yesfor.tho^ living with the virus.

Support -The Red Ribbon symbolize* support for those living with HIV; the continuing
education of those not infected; maximum efforts to find effective treatment, cures, or
vaccines and support for those who have lost friends, family members, or loved ones to
AIDS.
The Red Ribbon continues to be a powerful force to increase public awareness of HIV
and AIDS and in the lobbying efforts to increase funding for AIDS services and research.

■c ■

11.
HIV and AIDS -from the first experience and learnings
The first experience______________ _______ I Therefore even today, our first thoughts are....
5981: Most people found were in the stage of Htfle with HIV infection die soon...which is
AIDS and dying________________ _______ no longer true._________________________
PSI: Most people dying of AIDS were either People living with HIV infection must hove
Intravenous drug users or Men who had Sex done something wrong....which is not true
witH Men jboth in the margins of society)
either.
Women in sex work were among the first?
found in India with HIV infection
ramours of
< indiscriminate sprearf
Even today people believe that people living
HjV infection from people living with HIV with HIV infection spread the virus like cold
or 'flu. However we know for fact that rhe
infection and AIDS
largest HIV prevention care and support
programs are formed, nurtured and
strengthened by networks ofpeople living with
HIV infection._
The first ever language associated with HIV Today, taking the reality of HtV and AIDS,
and AIDS included words like ‘’dangerous', the use of non-stigmatising language is
‘incurable’ ‘AIDS means death’, ‘ sinful’, etc. encouraged. Sa Id's see what this language is
about.________________ 2______________
“Caring about others, running the risk offeeling, and leaving an impact on people,
brings happiness".
Harold Kushner

12.
Preferretl language to be used.
not uye this language
AIDS Vink

AIDS-infectcd
|-------------- ----

Use this — the preferred language
I There is no AIDS virus’. The vVus associated with AIDS is 1
called the Human Imminnvdeficrency Virus, or HIV. Please [
note: the phrase 11IV virtfr Is redundmi. Use HI V.
I
j Avoid the term infected. Us6 person living whh HIV or HIV- j
i positive person. No one can be infected with AIDS, because it is |

3

irjfcotMus age«t. AIDS is a surve&lance defmiti«i^
, cncuiMn*’ a svndnxme of opportunistic infections and diseases
that can develop as immuno suppression deepens along the
j <y>npnuum of HI V infection from primary infection to deatk.
There 13 no
for AlftS. Use HIV or HIV antibody test. _____
The uor<J ‘victim’ t$ disempowering. Use person living with
HIV. tJse the term AMPS only when referring to a person with a
cl jnicq! 4IPS diagt^is.--_____ __________
Use the term patient 0nly when referring to a clinical setting.
Preferred: patient With HIV-related illness.______
U*£ risk of HIV infection; risk of exposure to HIV.
cr< in

1

AlpS test____ : ;

.

A^D$ suflerer or Victim
17

AlbS patient

RjstofXlDS

!f
5.

11
Preferred language to be used

High(er) risk groups;
vulnerable groups*
Commercial sex xyork

Key populations at higher risk (both key to the epidemic’s
dynamics and key to the response)_______
Sex work or commercial sex or the sale of sexual services ’J

Prostitute

Use only in respect to juvenile prostitution; otherwise use sex
worker.____________________________________________
Use injecting drug us^r. Drugs may be injected subcutaneously,
intramuscularly or imfavenously.

_____ ,
Use non-sterile injecting equipment if referring to risk of HIV
exposure; use contaminated injecting equipment if the
equipment is known xo contain HIV or if HIV transmission has
occurred.
/•

Intravenous dryg

Sharing (netAil^^yringes)

:-'A
*



Fight against A

Response to AIDS

14.
Each time man stands up far an ideal, or acts to improve the lot ofothers, or strikes
out a^ai^st injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope~ and crossing each other
from a million different centers ofenergy and daring those ripples build a current that
can sweep down the mightiest walls ofoppression and resistance.
Robert F Kennedy

4

r
1
1

Accepting people irrespective of gender and sexual behaviors: know the terms so that

we can care about everyone.

* Asexual: An individual who feels no sexual attraction towards other individuals.
* Gay: A man who is sexually attracted to other men and/or identifies as gay. This term can also be
used to describe any person (man or woman) who experiences sexual attraction to people of the same
gender.
* Heterosexual: An individual who is sexually attracted to people of a gender other than their own
and/or who identifies as being heterosexual.
* Heterosexism: The viewpoint that all people should be heterosexual and the assumption that this is
the normal or ‘natural’ sexual identity people should have. This viewpoint results in bias against
other sexual identities.
* Hijra: A term used in the Indian subcontinent, which includes those who aspire to and/or undergo
castration, as well as those who are intersexed (please see definition below). Although some hijras
refer to themselves in the feminine, others say they belong to a third gender and are neither men nor
women.
15. More correct terms for sexual prefereuces
* Homosexual: An individual who is sexually attracted to people of the same gender as their own,
and/or who identifies himself as being homosexual.
* Homophobia: An intolerance or irrational fear of homosexual people that can manifest itself in
discrimination, prejudice, disgust or contempt of homosexual people.
* Intersexed person: An individual bom w ith the physical characteristics of both males and females.
These individuals may or may not identify themselves as men or women.
* Kothi: A feminised male identity, which is adopted by some people in the Indian subcontinent and
is marked by gender non-conformity, \kothi, though biologically male, adopts feminine modes of
dressing, speech and behavior and looks for a male partner who has a masculine mode of behavior,
speech and attire. Some believe that this is not an identity but a behavior.
Lesbian: A woman who is sexually attracted to other women and/or identifies herself as a lesbian.
Mau: A person who identities as a male and may or may not have male genitalia or reproductive
organs like a penis or testes.
Queer: A person who questions the heterosexual framework. This can include homosexuals,
lesbians, gays, intersexed and transgendered people. To some this term is offensive, while other
groups and communities have used it as a form of empowerment to assert that they are not
heterosexual, are non-conformist Against a dominant heterosexual framework, and dissatisfied with
the ‘labels’ used on people who do not identify as heterosexual.
Sex reassignment: A complex range of procedures that people undergo to transform from one sex
to another. These include hormone therapy, hair transplants or removal, speech therapy and surgeries
to change one’s sexual and sometimes reproductive organs.
* Transgendered person: An individual who does not identify with the gender assigned to them.
They may or may not consider themselves a ‘third sex’. Transgender people can be men who dress,
act or behave like women or women who dress, act or behave like men. They do not, however,
necessarily identify as homosexual.
Transsexual person: An individual who wants to change from the gender they have been assigned
at birth to another gender. So have surgery, hormonal medication, or other procedures to make these
changes. They may or may not identify as homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual. They may be female
to male transsexuals, male to female transsexuals or choose not to be identified as either.
Transvestite: An individual who dresses inthv clothing that is typically worn by people of another
for purposed ofsexual arousal/gratification. Transvestites are often men who dress in the
clothing typically wo« n by women. They are aFso known as cross-dressers.
* Woman: A person who identifies as a female and who may or may not have female genitalia and
reproductive argpns like breasts, a vagina, and ovaries

5

16.
“From caring comes courage,99
Lao Tzu

Have you heard of the World AIDS Day?
Every year. World AIDS Day is observed on I December. Every year there is a theme.
Take a look at the themes so far

2007 - Stop AIDS; Keep the promise - Leadership
2006 - Stop AIDS; Keep the promise - Accountability
2005 - Stop AIDS; Keep the promise
2004 - Women, girls, HIV and AIDS
2003 - Stigma & discrimination
2002 - Stigma & discrimination

2001 * »1 care. Do you?
17. World AIDS Day themes

2000 - AIDS : Men make a difference
^999 Listen, learn, live: World AIDS campaign with children & young people
1995 - Force for change: World AIDS campaign with young people
1997 Children Living in a World with AIDS
1996 - One world, one hope
!995 • Shared rights, shared responsibilities
1994 - AIDS & the family
' -T
1993 - Act



i

1992 - Community commitment

1991 - Sharing the challenge
1990 - Women & AIDS
1989 - Youth

A

1988 - Communication.

18.

Key messages
1. All of us are at risk of getting HIV infection.
2. All people including those living with HIV infection have rights and
responsibilities.
3. HIV does not kill so much as stigma does.

6

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| .■

19.

Action plan
> Use the “tailing of CAT” game to find out how your friends view people living
with HIV infection
> Prepare some skits or drama in the preferred language to understand stigma.
> Distribute copies
> Help each participant mentor at least 25 to 30 of his or her classmates, youth
club members and friends on Red Ribbon, World AIDS Day. Make each young
one sign the commitment: I Care about everyone.

Any other questions? Write to us with your actions and plans at
INSA-India, 5/1 Benson Cross Road, Benson Town, Bangalore 560 046.
E-mail: insastand@gmail.com or insastigmastand@gmai 1 .com\

Three keys to more abundant living: caring about others, daringfor others, sharing with
others,99
William Arthur Ward

i<

.-I

,

.

7

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7



1.
No man *vas e\xr endowed with a right without being at the same time saddled with a
responsibility.
Gerald tV Johnson

I enjoy my rights with responsibility
Module Objectives
During this session, focus on the participants9 understanding of human rights with
special reference to HIV and AIDS. The Friendly Advisors should use this module to
introduce the rights ofpeople living with HIV infection and AIDS and link it to their
perception about sex, sexuality and sexual health. Every right comes hand in hand
with responsibility. Enjoy their rights but at the same time have the responsibility to
ensure other people's rights are safeguarded through all their actions. This ensures
that all people Celebrate Life. With sexual rights and responsibilities one can prevent
HIV infection to a large extent. Awareness of rights and responsibilities increases
mental strength.
2.
By the end of the ONE-HOUR interaction, youth will:
*
> Differentiate between sex, sexuality and sexual health.
> Discuss sexual rights.
> Demonstrate that rights and responsibilities go hand in hand.

Key notes
In our culture, sex and sexuality are not openly talked about most of the time. People get
information from wrong sources. This can be very dangerous. Access to right
information is very important.

Sexual rights, which apply to both males and females, include the right of not being
abused. Very often we do not even recognize abuse as it is considered to be a normal
part of life. Sexual relationship between adults is intensely pleasurable when it is
consensual between both the partners. Any non-consensual sex is rape.
With sexual rights also come sexual responsibilities. The right to enjoy comes hand in
hand with the right to decide to get pregnant or not, along with the right to protect
ourselves from HIV infections or STIs.
4.
Key notes
No one can be f ade to undergo testing for HIV unless specific and informed consent is
taken. Whatever be the L3St result there is the right to confidentiality. The choice ro
disclose your HIV status and the duty to do so before you begin a sexual relationship is
each person’s responsibility. Rights and responsibilities go hand in hand.

I

Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach co sexuality and sexual
relationships, ei well as Che possibility o) havingpleasurnbkr and safe sexual experiences,
free of coercion, discrimination and violence. Fof sexual hq^thCe be.aAuin^d and
maintained, the sexual lights of all persons must be respecte<L [detected an<J fulfilled.
With sexual rights and responsibilities ut can prevent HIV infection to a lafge extent.

5.
Tips for having rights with responsibility

«<- ;
*

1.

Women have the right to say
^NO” to sex

2.

Women living with HIV
infection have the right to
have children

3.

People living with HIV
infection havefhe right to
marry

4'- '

ii4.

6. Mor? rips______________
People affected by HI V and
AIDS are mostly sex workers
and promiscuous people

5.

Teenage girls are vulnerable
and get pregnant easily

6.

Men do not like to admit that
they lack knowledge about
HIV and AIDS and therefore
do no? seek information about
HIV prevent! n

Both women and men have the right to say "NO” to sex. Each
person knows that he or she is precious. Think critically before
making a decision about sex_ At the same time one has the
responsibility to move away from the room or say something
distracting so that the partner's sexy mood is changed!_________
Yes. All parents whether they are living with Hl V or not have a
right to found a family. This means that they also have the
responsibility to ensure dat the child is well looked after, during
and after their lifetime. A parent who does not have HIV
infection has similar responsibilities too. There is no guarantee
that all parents wil? live tiili their children are grown up!
Yes all adults have the right to many and side by side the
responsibility to sunettgihen mirivl ties, disclose their status to
their spouse before marriage.

Anybody can be affected by HIV and AIDS. Blaming the
epidemic on sex workers and promiscuous people give us a
sense of false security that we are immune to HIV infection. All
people have the responsibility to prevent HIV infection too.
Every human being is precious, unique and has rights. It is
probable that a teenage gid got pcegruint because we were not
being responsible. Maybe she did not receive education about
her vulnerability, ways to manage sexual feelings. Maybe she
did not hear of sexual rights.______________________________
Both men and women foave a right to sexual health and the
responsibility to ensure that tfiey seek information about HIV
prevention.

j 7. More tips______________
Women are blamed for being raped no matter w hat dtey wear.
7. Women .should be blamed for
being raped if they wear short Women are raped even in their best traditional dress. Both men
and women have the right to dec nt self-expression. Real men
dresses «tight jeans
control their sexual urges for consensual sex. That takes strength
_

2

GLry mer) spread HlV%ecause
the} are HlV cairfetS

9.

Providing sex education
promotes and encourages sex

in its true meaning. We also have the responsibility to treat each i
person, where male or female as human beings with rights and
not as objects <4 pleasure._______________________________
Pin pointing some groups as being spreaders of HIV infection
gives us a fake sense of security that it is safe to have unsafe sex
with others. Along with the right to sexual identity and
preference, comes the responsibility to ensure sexual health.
All people have a right to education. Comprehensive sex
education helps to gain skills to delay sex, choose value based
sexual relationships.

8. More tips
10. Female ignorance of sexual

matters is a sign of purity

11. Men who have too many

partners deserve to die

12. Women gain self-esteem and
social identity with the birth
of children

'• -

V.
■.‘i ?

9, More tips____________
13. A man who carries condoms

must be a responsible man

14. All human beings have a right
to seek health care

15. Modesty and virginity are
central values to the image of
womanhood

Female ignorance victimizes her and makes her vulnerable for
sexual abuse. She has the right and responsibility to^eek
information and be assertive. Both males and females have the
responsibility to enjoy and control sexual relationships AT
THEIR OWN PACE AND TIME._______________________
Men have a right to sexual health, which means they have the
responsibility to choose their sexual life. Men have a right to life
too and hence the responsibility to Celebrate Life with health.
Neither men nor women deserve to die. They both have rights to
live and the responsibility to choose their lifestyle knowing they
are precious and unique.
__________________________
Each woman is a creator. She cannot be the creator without a
man. Women and men’s self esteem must come from the true
belief in their uniqueness and preciousness rather than from the
things they have, the children they give birth to and the status
they have in JMciety. All people are equal by right

It is not just enough to cany one. Consistent and correct use of
the condoms is the responsibility, with the right or choice to
carry one. Both men and women have the right to choose
abstinence too.______________________________________
Every human being has a right to seek health care services and
the responsibility to prevent illnesses. We have a right to safe
drinking water and the responsibility to maintain the tap. We
have the right to use a bike and the responsibility to ensure that
we do not injure some one. We have the right to make free
choices and the responsibility not to hurt ourselves or others.
Modesty and virginity are central values for both men and
women. We have a right to choose to be modest and to choose to
be virgins. We have the responsibility to buy clothes that are
modest and say NO assertively...or keep healthy relationships.
We havv the responsibility to practice the Skills of Life.

10.
Sex — what is it?

Having sex refers to the sexual behavior and feelings. It is used to talk about the physical
aa of sexual intercourse.

3

Sexuality
is it?
Human .sexuality is much more (han just the act of sex.
Human scxuitUty includes:
Hom, \v»u describe yourself as a person
How you feci about being a man or woman
How you relate with members of either sex.
Sexuality also includes your sexual preference and your sexual behaviour. It also
includes genital and reproductive health, such as intercourse and child bearing.

11.
We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood untile we have
stopped saying "It got loslt" and say lost it,"
Sidney J Harris

*

Human values regarding sexuality
• Sexuality is a natural part of the self
• Sexuality includes physical, ethical, spiritual, social and psychological
dimensions.
• Every person, including you have self-worth and dignity
• Every person £:$presses sexuality in different ways.
* • Sexual relatuo^iips are more satisfying and long lasting if it is not forced.
• Sexual relationships need to be based on mutual trust.iwnest v, commimierft and
respect
• All sexual decisions have effects and consequcnces.
• Every person has a right and obligation to make responsible sexual choices.
• All men and women are sexual.

■w





12.
Sexual health — what is it?

The World Health Organization defines SEXUAL HEALTH as:
- A capacity to ENJOY and CONTROL sexual and reprod active Ix’haviours in
accordance with a social and personal ethic.

Freedom from fear, shame, guilt, false beliefs and other psychological factors
inhibiting sexual response and impairing sexual relationships.
- Freedom from organic disorders, disease and deficiencies that interfere with sexual and
reproductive functions.
13.

Recognise abuse
one needs to toleraie abuse as each one of us is entitled to basic Fundamental Rights.
All arc equal in the eyes of the law - no matter to what religion, caste, status, sex or place
one may belong to. It is important for every person to become aware of his or her basic
or Fundamental Rights to protect themselves from bving violated.

4

■<>

*

14.

Erfiotional and psychological abuse Olay Indude
- 11 um iliatidn
- Damaging their favourite possession^
- Threatening physical or sexual viplence
- Writing threatening letters in a broken relationship.

15.
Physical violence may include
- Slapping, beating, pinching, hair pulling, burning
- Threatening or attacking a person with a weapon or object
- Physically confining (locking in a room or tying up)
- Clothes being ripped off.
16.
Sexual violence may include
- Using physical violence to force having sex
- Touching a person’s sexual body parts against will
- Using vulgar and abusive language to coerce into having sex
- Lacing drinks with drugs to have sex
- Refusing use of contraceptives or condoms.



■■•I

>

1J.
...U;
We all participate in weaving the socialfabric; we should therefore all participate in
patching thefabric when it develops holes.
AnneC. Weisberg
Rights do not change just because HIV and AIDS affects an individual.
Rights related to reproductive self- determination
- To equality and to be free from all forms of discrimination
- To privacy and confidentiality
-To freedom of thought
-To decide whether or when to have children
- To choose whether or not to marry and to found and plan a family
-To freedom of assembly and political participation.

18.
Rights related to reproductive health care
- Right to life
- Right to information and education
- Right to liberty and security of the person
- Right to health care and health protection
- Right to the benefits of scientific progress.

5

19.
Three iiflportant rights lit the context of HIV and AIDS
■* Rightto in fanned consent
Right to (JonTideirtiality
- Right against discrimination.

20.
Key messages
I. All human beings are sexual.
2. Both men and women have a right to enjoy sexual health and the responsibility to
control their sexual lives.
3. All people including those living with HIV infection have rights and
responsibilities.
21.
Action plan

>
>
>
>

<*/

Know your rights and hunch a rights comer:
WRITE YOUR RIGHTS! Get your friends to write out what rights they have.
Circulate a list of Human Rights Organisations
Circulate pamphlet of the National Human Rights Commission or call a meeting
and invite a person from there for mort info mation.
> Bggin a Human Rights Watch group - >r “You-are being watched” campaign in bus
stands to address sexual harassment. Read the Vishaka Guidelines for addressing
sexual harassment. Seek assistance from NGOs or call 1091 or 1098.
> Prepare some skits or drama or game to reinforce ‘rights go with responsibilities’.
> Help youth mentor at least 55 U* 30 ofliis or her classmates, youth clubs, friends
on rights. Make each one sign the commitment: I enjoy my rights with
responsibilities.

22.
> Any other questions? Write to us with your actions and plans at:

INSA-India, 5/1 Benson Cross Road, Benson Town, Bangalore 560 046.
E-mail: insastand@gmai1.com or insastigmastand@gmail.com

You are not responsiblefor the programming you picked up in childhood. However, as
an adult, you are one hundredpercent responsiblefor fixing iL
Ken Keyes, Jr.

6

1.
d//
shall shape ^he/utum. Whether 1fail Succeed shall be no man iM/tg but
nty t)wn. fi/tnlhe ftree? imn^dear tfhf obstade before
or t can be lost in the maze.
My choice; tf^y responsibility; win or ktse, only I hold the key to my destiny.
Elaine MaxwelL

I plan for my future
Module Objectives
During this session,focus on the participants9 future to enable them to confidently
step into a world quite differentfrom the present one they are in. Many of them will be
excited to know what lies ahead on becoming economically selfsufficient and as
responsible adults in the society. The Friendly Advisors should use this module to
channel youth towards leading a healthierfamily life and on prevention ofHIV and
AIDS through individual responsible behavior with tips on maintaining healthy
boundaries, building on mutually faithful relationships and on the ways to protect
theirfamiliesfrom HIV infection.

By the end of the ONE-HOUR interaction, youth will:

> Describe the ways to prevent HIV infection through.responsible behavior.
> Discuss the ways to lead a healthier family life.

3.
Key notes
Recent statistics in India reveal that among the HIV infected persons 35 to 40 % are
women and majority of the infection among women is after marriage. Hence it is very
important to know about HIV and AIDS and start talking about it with the family. It is
evryone’s responsibility to protect oneself and one’s family from HIV infection.
Awareness is the key word for prevention of HIV. Our life is a gift so let us plan to make
it beautiful with safe choices and decisions. As one goes ahead in life one can build
healthy relationships through safe choices and good decisions. These skills are valuable
throughout life.
The core principle of the Ten Commitments of Celebrating Life is enabling youth face
challenges of life with courage, dispell all myths and misconceptions, empower
themselves, set boundaries and above all value self to protect from HIV infection. Share
the new information with family and friends.

1

4.
The future nut a resist ofdunce* among alternatixx path* offered bt the present, hat
a place that is created createdfirst in the mind and will, creuted n^xt in tictlvity. Ike

Tips for planning your future
Respect oneseh as a person who is worthwhile. I ake responsibility for one’s own
body and actions.
• Abstain from sex until marriage.
• Checkout whether the person one loves is looking at one as an object for his or
her pleasure. Listen to opinions from all but make decisions for oneself. Notice
w'hen someone is being overly helpful and makes decisions for one. It is better to
make one s own decisions.
• Be aware when one is being taken advantage of. Get to know what one really
wants from life.
• Be wary of partners who want one to be different. You are YOU. One is unique
• Encourage pregnant women in the family or known to one to visit PPTCT
(Prevention of Parent to Child Transmission).
• Encourage couples to go for HIV testing before marriage to get correct and
appropriate information related to HIV and the ways to prevent it.


5.
More tips


*21* • •










1

Try and avoid situations where blood transfusions are mandatory. Accidents
cannot be prevented. But accidents are avoidable if traffic rules are followed. If
situation arises for blood transfusion, try to use HIV- free tested blood.
Blood transfusion due to illnesses can be avoided bv following healthy food
habits, regular exercises, avoiding a habit which causes serious health problems,
etc.
Try and avoid using injections and request the doctors to provide tablets and other
syrups for common illness. Insist on disposable or sterilized needles and other
medical instruments.
Boundaries may vary from time to time depending on various social and
economical factors. The important aspect is setting healthy boundaries and
maintaining it.
Motivate positive living if come across any person with HIV.
Debate issues related to HIV and AIDS and the perceived risk of infection.

2

6.
C(ind«n — what is It?
Ope of the best and easy methods pfbirth control is a condom. They are widely available
and very effective. Along with preventing pregnancy, condoms protect from S'lls
including HIV. Condoms
be «sed correctly and consistently to be effective.
People are afraid ofthe future, of the unknown. Ifa man faces up to it, and takes the
dare ofthefuture, he can have sMie control over his destiny. That's an exciting idea to
me, better than waiting with everybody else to see what's going to happen.
John H Glenn

7.
Why condoms fail?

i

Condoms can fail due to incorrect use of it, or if it is not in best possible condition.
When one buys a condom there is no need to feel embarrassed or bad. It is a
contraceptive to prevent pregnancy and transmission of sexually transmitted disease such
as HIV, etc. and should be like any other purchase. One is protecting oneself and
indirectly the other person. While buying them it is important to look for the expiry date
or manufacturing date to ensure it is in ^ood condition.

I

Condoms tare made of special material. l'hey:<are affected hy heat and light and
deteriorate if not stored properly. So it’s best notlo* use a ondom which has been kept in
rhe back pocket, purse, or the glove cpmpartmcnt of the car. Also if it feels dry or sticky
do not use it.

8. How to use condoms torredty
. •
Show youth how to put on condom correctly. While using condom open it at one comer.
Be careful not to tear it with nails or teetk, make sure it is v. ahin the expiry period and in
good condition. Place the rolled condom over the tip of the hard penis and pinch the tip of
the condom to leave space for the semen to collect and remove the air and roll it down
to the base of penis. Smooth out any air bubbles which can cause a condom to break.
After intercourse remove the condom before the penis softens, carefully so that the semen
doesn’t spill, tie it and wrap in paper and dispose in a bin. Do not flush it in toilet as it
may block it.

"pc -

■'7
.1 >•

4

w- a

9.
Key messages
fo plan future with grace and determination, to maintain healthy houndxrios by
building mutually faithful relationsh os and prevent HIV infection Co Oneself,
one s family, friends and near and dear ones to celebrate life.
2. Above all pledge unto oneself t<i plan for one’s future and update pncself about
HIV infection.

I

10.
Action plans
> Organize an event where youth take a pledge to live healthily without HIV and
combat the spread of HIV and AIDS in their locality.
r- Help youth to mentor at least 25 to 30 of his or her classmates, youth club
members, friends on planning future for a healthy life with a competition on the
Ten Commitments. Make each one sign the commitment: I plan for my future.

Any other questions ? Write to us with your actions and plans at:

INSA-India, 5/1 Benson Cross Road, Bensotl Town, Bangalore 560 046.
Email: insastand@gmaii.com or insastigmastand@gniail.com

a-

Planning is a process of choosing among those many options. If we do not choose to
plan, then we choose to have others plan for us.

Richard I Winwood

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